For our second date, my partner wanted to cook for me.
A full menu with appetizer, dinner, and dessert was in store. I was impressed, and told myself I’d go easy on him. I’d had boyfriends try to cook for me in the past, only to sneak in some fast food on my way home. But I promised to approach this dinner date at my place with an open mind. It was sweet how he was trying to impress me. The least I could do was go easy on him.
When he came to my front door with a blowtorch, I had concerns.
You know when you start second-guessing all of those sweet gestures? Maybe he’s not sweet. Maybe he’s just a serial killer looking for his next victim! As a fan of horror movies, I looked back to see if I could recognize any signs I may have missed in the fog of falling for him.
He tried to console me, insisting it was for creme brulee.
Sure buddy.
You’re just going to whip up some creme brulee after you’ve made meatloaf and green bean casserole? I cracked open that bottle of wine and started drinking. At least the walls to my apartment were thin. Some kind soul would alert the authorities as our dinner date turned into the inevitable slasher flick.
The meatloaf was delicious, as was the green bean casserole. While he cooked, I helped with the occasional sous chef duties. Then I sat at the bar with one eye on him and one trained that blow torch taunting me on the counter, while he cooked. After dinner he placed some custard into the oven for 20 minutes. Fresh out of the oven, he threw some granulated sugar over the custard, grabbed his blowtorch and, before I could alert the neighbors of my impending doom, torched the top of the creme brulee.
It was delicious! The whole meal was one of the best I’d ever had. And all without waiting for a table and shelling out over $50 a person.
I learned some valuable lessons that evening. One, never underestimate a man that’s confident enough to suggest cooking you dinner on a second date. Second, with proper preparation and planning, you can cook a meal to rival any restaurant. For pennies on the dollar.
He didn’t just bring the blow torch. That’s just what I fixated on initially. He brought a few bags of groceries, including ground beef, seasonings, green beans, cream of mushroom soup, and french onions. It was impressive to watch him juggle food prep with oven management, ensuring everything came out done and was still hot when it hit the dinner plate.
And then that dessert. Divine!
Our casual dating turned into something more serious, and dinners after work became a regular thing. But these dinners were certainly not the norm.
I was used to living with people who believed reheating a frozen dinner was cooking. And I felt elevated when I threw some frozen veggies, chicken breast, oil, soy sauce, and a bit of peanut butter in a pan and made a makeshift stir-fry.
So when my significant other came up with adventurous dinner ideas like a Thai pizza, Philly cheesesteak tacos, and Sheperd’s pie calzones, feelings of culinary inadequacy crept in. My humble spice cabinet that contained only the staples was lightly mocked. Apparently garlic salt, Italian seasoning, and red pepper chili flakes does not a well rounded spice cabinet make. I argued there was salt and pepper as well, but apparently those don’t count. Whatever.
During these culinary adventures, my spice cabinet grew. I used more than one pan at a time. Sometimes the stove and oven were on simultaneously. Meal preparation became an event in and of itself, and the results were enjoyed at a dining room table. Some experiments were not great (Shepard’s pie calzones), some were amazing (Thai pizza). And the whole food preparation production became an event I looked forward to during mind-numbing hours stuck in a corporate cell.
This was a stark contrast to earlier cooking days where meat and veg were thrown in a roasting pan and then into the oven. Typically, for the meat to be done, the veg was just barely burnt. So I just threw some extra garlic salt on the barely burnt veg and ate the meal in front of the television or computer with little enjoyment.
Now, following a light after-work workout, I was enjoying an hour or two of meal preparation and consumption without even missing that television. It was amazing. As was the effect on my credit card. Turns out, even when you’re out buying fancy ingredients, you will typically spend less than if you consume most of your meals out or as prepackaged supermarket meals.
However, after a couple of months of into this, I got serious about budgeting and working towards financial independence. I had already cut happy hours, replacing them with light exercise after work. Rarely went out to eat, opting instead to cook a meal with my significant other and enjoy conversation and board games after a long day at work. And it was time to trade in my expensive car for a loan-free, used one and start investing in real estate by house hacking.
But before I could do any of that, I would need to save some cash. And cutting down my expenses was the best way to do that. With a critical eye on monthly expenses, I honed in on my food budget. It could use some work.
It wasn’t an easy process for me. In earlier years, I was notorious for going to the grocery store, coming home and putting everything away, only to mull over the contents of my pantry and refrigerator and wonder what the hell I was going to actually eat. It’s like I’d bought a lot of items that did not fit together for a meal. Or that I’d buy things I didn’t really know how to cook, but thought I should try (dry beans, rice, oatmeal, flour, quinoa, couscous).
So I’d grab a bowl or three of cereal. Or, convincing myself how draining grocery shopping was, I’d take a break from cooking that night and just grab something from the drive thru. Maybe a salad. Crispy chicken salad with ranch dressing. Health.
Nowadays, I typically spend about $350-400 for two people to eat for a month. This includes one or two dinners that we cook at home for a few friends at casual dinner parties, as well as one meal out for the two of us. I realize some budget badasses can do much better than this, but I also think this is way less than what most are spending for food.
A few tips helped me reign in my food budget without sacrificing nutrition. I actually think the nutritional value of my meals has gone up significantly since tightening up the food budget. Here’s how you, too, can cook like a badass on a budget!
Plan Weekly Meals
This was hard for me initially. I resisted the idea of planning out an entire week of meals. After trying it for a couple of weeks, I realized planning every day was too stringent. What if I wanted spaghetti on Tuesday instead of Thursday, or that Moroccan quinoa called my name Monday instead of Friday?
I reframed this exercise as a set of seven dinners I would eat sometime throughput the week, giving my taste buds some sense of control. Sometimes I would tag a meal for the beginning of the week instead of end due to the food’s short shelf life (I’m looking at you, bag of mixed greens). Otherwise, I would review a list of dinners each night and choose based on my mood.
Don’t neglect other meals of the day. On this note, being honest about your eating habits is absolutely key as you’re meal planning. When you begin this exercise, I do not recommend testing out a new eating pattern.
Unless you’re one of those people who can start ten new habits every Monday and never look back. I admire your discipline.
The rest of us should approach this in small steps. Don’t start intermittent fasting when beginning a food budget. Instead, be honest about when you eat, what you like, and how much you need to be satiated. And recognize that these things can change over time.
When I first began my food budget journey, my pattern was pretty simple.
Workweek
- Coffee with milk every morning. A few cups. Maybe some water. But lots of coffee. As much as I tried to get into breakfast, I rarely enjoyed eating early in the morning. I felt rushed, stuffed, or hungry again by 10am. Just coffee seemed more natural.
- Lunch could be anything I could put into a container, store in the office refrigerator, and either eat cold or nuke in the microwave. Because lunch was so rushed, I discovered I could eat the same thing all week, so I made this in bulk every weekend. I did switch up the meal each week so my taste buds didn’t completely revolt.
- Snack at work was hot tea and a piece of fruit with nuts. Sometimes I didn’t need it, other times I did. I always brought it.
- Dinner had to be delicious, take less than 30 minutes to prep, and less than 30 minutes to cook. Since I was going straight from work to my apartment’s local gym for a 30 minute session, I was pretty hungry after my shower. If dinner was more than an hour away at this point, I would order a pizza.
- I love dessert. Acting like this isn’t true for a budget is not realistic. So I would stock dessert-making items – ingredients to make a batch of chocolate chip cookies or brownies from scratch on naughty nights. Fruit, greek yogurt and honey on my better nights.
- Libations are another source of enjoyment and relaxation. More when I was stuck behind a corporate desk, but still an indulgence I enjoy. I was honest about this in my budget and planned accordingly. Wine was a favorite, however pricing this out highlighted how expensive this habit could be. Even a pretty modest bottle of wine at $10/bottle adds up. One to two bottles a week ranges from $40-80 a month. I explored other spirits and discovered a love for brandy. One large bottle of brandy was $30, and lasted one to two months, easy.
Weekend
- While forced breakfasts early in the morning felt like torture, breakfast meals are some of my favorites! Scrambles, quiche, waffles, oatmeal, pancakes, crepes, I love it all! The weekend allowed for a slower morning pace, and I enjoyed making a larger, more involved breakfast to celebrate.
- Since weekend breakfast was between 10-11am, lunch never happened. We’d just hold off until dinner.
- Dinners could also be more elaborate since I had more time. Want to recreate Julia Child’s four-hour beef bourguignon masterpiece? Host a themed dinner party, or a board game night with tapas and finger foods? This is the time!
No longer a slave to the corporate rat race and with a healthier meal focus, my current eating habits are a bit different. But you get the idea. Be completely honest about what you need and want to eat every day. The pattern I show above helped me plan out what I needed in a week’s grocery trip.
Coffee, clearly. Some lunch for the workweek I could make in bulk – let’s say roasted vegetables, brown rice, and roasted chicken with a nice basil pesto sauce. Five easy dinners for the workweek. Two fancy breakfasts for the weekend, and two fancy dinners for the weekend. Staples for desserts. And those libations.
From here I can break it down more, and in some cases, consolidate. I probably didn’t need two fancy breakfasts and two fancy dinners. One batch of orange and cardamom pancakes would last for two breakfasts, especially when paired with bacon and maple syrup. One fancy dinner could last two dinners for two people – or stretch. Maybe you suspect only 25% of that beef bourguignon is left after Saturday’s feast. Buy a loaf of bread and some potatoes, and plan on pairing those leftovers with homemade garlic bread and mashed potatoes on Sunday.
When planning the weeknight dinners, leftovers are your friend. Making salmon with rice and steamed broccoli on Monday? Make twice the rice you’d eat and save the rest for Tuesday. Throw that in a pan with some frozen veggies, cashews, soy sauce, and an egg and you’ve got vegetable fried rice.
Before Making a List, Check Your Fridge and Pantry
I cannot tell you how many times I used to go to buy olive oil at the store, only to come home and find two bottles hidden in the back of my pantry. It still happens occasionally, but these days I have a pretty good pulse on what I have in the kitchen since I make almost all meals at home.
Assessing what you already have before writing down your grocery list helps in a couple of ways. 1) You’re aware of what you already have, so you won’t buy what you don’t need, and 2) You may discover ingredients you forgot you had, which may inspire a meal.
The first time I wrote a grocery list after creating a food budget, I took about 30 minutes to reacquaint myself with my kitchen.
This may seems like a ridiculous amount of time – especially for my compact apartment kitchen, but it was time well spent. With all of the culinary adventures we embarked on, I had acquired an odd assortment of ingredients. Things like seaweed, cardamom, lemongrass, fast-rising yeast, Gouda cheese, and cooking sherry were scattered about.
Rather than have these items sneak back to the pantry or fridge to be forgotten, I tried making some meals that week utilizing a couple of those ingredients. And continued to do this every week. There’s almost always something hiding back there that you can take advantage of. Some fried chicken mix, wasabi peas, chipotles in adobo sauce, can of black beans, or a can of creamed corn. Who knows what you’ll find? Force yourself to use it!
Worst case, you search the internet and make a meal you try and hate. Best case, you discover a meal you love and an ingredient you’ll bring into the grocery shopping rotation. Either way, you used the item and added some variation to your meals.
Write Out Your Grocery List
You know what you’re going to eat for the week. And you know what you have on hand.
My digital lovers will appreciate many apps that help you make a grocery list. Even the humble Notes app on your phone will do the trick. Don’t fret my analog friends, a piece of paper and pen is all you need.
Break down each meal and write down each ingredient you’ll need to make it happen. Don’t forget about snacks, desserts, meals you’ll need to eat on the go. Write down an exhaustive list. Absolutely everything you’ll need for the meals you’ve planned. Nothing more. You won’t need it. You already wrote out every possible meal and snack.
Next step… don’t go to the grocery store!
Not yet, at least.
The uninitiated and inexperienced will benefit from an intermediate step. It’s a bit boring, but likely enlightening. More importantly, it’ll help you stay on budget.
You already have your monthly food budget. It’s not ridiculously large, but it’s also not unreasonable. Think one human needs $800 a month? Reign it in. Convincing yourself you can feed a family of five with $200 a month? You’re killing me! I admire your enthusiasm, but that’s extreme, especially if food expenses are out of control and budgets are new. Be realistic.
If you go grocery shopping weekly (my preference), divide that monthly budget by four. That’s your target this week.
Now, take that list of items, get your computer or internet-ready device, and get ready to search the internet for food prices. If your grocery store has an app, or you already pick up your online grocery orders, this step will be easier. But before you click submit or go into a physical grocery store, I want you to have an idea of what this week’s grocery bill will be based on what you need.
I also want you to know how much items cost. Since everyone’s grocery list and cart cost will vary, every individual’s discovery will be different. Perhaps you are shocked at how little next week’s grocery bill will be. You’ll be under budget this week. Kick ass! Don’t change a thing. Perhaps save that surplus for a dinner party or a fancy meal later in the month. Or it will save you in a future week when you go over because wild-caught salmon is what your taste buds demand.
On the other hand, perhaps you’re shocked at how much next week’s grocery bill will be. Look at the price per item. Reconsider your meal plan. Are you overindulging in expensive meal ingredients? Meats, seasonings and oils can cost you. Anything preprepared is almost always much more expensive than made from scratch. But if your pantry is empty, stocking up on essentials means an expensive first trip.
At this point, take the time and make the sacrifices to stay on budget. You can do it. It just takes some creativity. Here are some suggestions to help you out if that grocery bill is way over your budget:
- Utilize cheap items in meals. These don’t have to be empty calories, and frankly should not be. Things like beans, brown or wild rice, and quinoa can be purchased in bulk and added to meals to fill them out. Even something as “expensive” as quinoa is fairly cost-effective. Looking at Walmart, 32 ounces of dry quinoa is about $8. That’s about 10 servings, so 80 cents a serving. Not great, but not a $20 steak either. A four-pound bag of lentils runs you about $5, and has a whopping 50 servings. That’s 10 cents a serving. Experiment with and add frugal grains and beans to meals.
- No preprepared or prepackaged items. Want a frozen pizza? Buy flour, yeast, tomato sauce and mozzerella cheese. And some toppings to your liking. Overall, it will always be cheaper this way.
- Give vegetarian meals a try. Meat is expensive. Especially good, quality meat. Start with one vegetarian meal a week. As you discover vegetarian and vegan recipes you like, bump that meal count up to two or three times a week.
- Be realistic about meal sizes. Are you habitually making large meals that you don’t finish? Worse, do they go uneaten and get thrown away? Or even worse, are your raw ingredients going bad and being thrown out untouched? Wasted food will kill your budget. You can scale back the portions you buy. Get good at freezing items you can freeze, or have a “leftovers” dinner every week to make sure no good food goes to waste!
Once you’ve made some adjustments to the grocery list, you’re ready for a trip to the grocery store. While you’re there, stay focused on the list. No impulse buys. And try to stick to the outer aisles – that’s where the more nutritious food typically is.
Keep exploring new recipes. Nothing will push you towards eating out faster than crappy meals at home. And be patient. Almost every recipe I try the first time is not great, only good. But I critique what I like and don’t and give it a couple more tries, tweaking ingredients and cooking methods as necessary. I’ll watch cooks on YouTube to better understand fancy cooking techniques. When I started cooking at home more often, I found a new recipe to try almost every week. Now it’s about every month. It keeps cooking interesting and my taste buds happy.
With some time and practice, you’ll cook like a bad ass on a budget in no time!